The diehard KQRS Morning Show listener

The average KQ Listener enjoys Steve Miller Band, over and over and
over again. Their mode of transportation is usually a full-size truck
with a ladder attached to it. They are positively identified by the
Calvin Hobbes sticker urinating on an auto manufacturer logo. They will
sometimes decorate their truck with a prosthetic testicle hanging from
the towing ball. The drivers of the truck are unjustifiably arrogant
and self-proclaimed cultured people. These guys proudly wear KQRS
shirts that declare "I have to poop". (I wish I was making this up).
Along with ripped jeans, deer-hunting orange camaflouge jackets,
polaris snowmobile jackets and Motley Crue t-shirts, their wardrobe
boasts a shirt that informs the reader with the following words of
wisdom: "Immigrants Learn to speak 'American' or get out". Do these
guys really see that many immigrants at their workplaces such as the
snowmobile repair shop, muffler and brake shops etc.? These guys can
barely formulate a sentence, let alone lecture others on the English
language. They're mastery of English equates to knowledge of 50 slang
synonyms for genitals, races, countries or cultures. For example, The
French are "surrender monkeys" and apparently Arabs are towel-heads
(They don't wear turbans - The Sikhs and Afghans do). These guys demand
assimilation from the immigrants living in this country. Thankfully,
the state''s immigrants have resisted plastic testicles and t-shirts
advertising their digestive issues.

Any mention of genetalia and these guys get all giddy with KQRSMS'
brand of humor pioneered by Howard Stern. They get excited about any
nasty middle-aged woman with large breasts. They love the mentally
challenged co-host Terri Trane. The woman looks like the Minnesota
Viking's mascot Ragnar but the way these guys drool over her you would
think she is some kind of supermodel. Some of them can even read and
write. The following piece of literature will give you an idea of the
culture and wisdom of the average KQ Listener that is upheld with such
honor by Tom Barnard. It will also explain why they work at a Midas and
not IBM...

The average KQ listener is an embarassment to the progressive, modern,
decent and educated Minnesotan. Here is a KQ listener writing into
their favorite show after a long day of changing oil, drinking old
milwaukee, spitting kodiak and finishing the night off by masterbating
to some porno starring nasty skanks and sheep.
http://www.farmgirls.com/d1/ or one of bryce's favorite -backdoor stacy
#16-.

Please read letters below from the kqrs website and make your own
judgement.

A letter from a listener:

June 13, 2005 - Muslim Bumper Stickers
My other car is a bomb
This vehicle makes wide right turns into buildings
Keep honking, I'm Visualize World Jihad
My other car is in the abdomens of 50 Israeli civilians
I blew up 500 friendly Iraqis and all I got was this lousy bumper
sticker.
0 to KABOOM in .2 seconds.
My 12-year-old can blow up your honor student
In case of Jihad this car will be exploded
What part of ULLULULULULULULU did you not understand?

ANOTHER LETTER

I don't know whet the hell they did in their country but this isn't the
fricking jungles of Africa and we sure as hell don't turn our houses
into butcher shops.

Shut down the God Damn borders or start to assimilate!

ANOTHER LETTER

Happy Belated Halloween Guys,

Here is my office Halloween costume this year, I searched for the "I
have to Poop" t-shirt, but could not find it for my costume. It would
have made such a bigger impact.

So to introduce my picture, I am a piece of undigested corn. Hope you
get as big a laugh as everyone in my office did.

You guys rock,

Michael